What's wrong with Russia/ Russian men

[Ian]

Why are there so many women trying to find a husband etc outside of Russia? Is it the country or the men that they don't like?

[katya]

</span>Why are there so many women trying to find a husband etc outside of Russia? Is it the country or the men that they don't like?<span =''>
why ? Becouse lofe in Russia and life in UK are different.
and, not all girls want to go from Russia. I know a lot if that, who didn't .
you can believe me :))))))))))))))

[/I][B] First of all - why do you wonder about it? Do you think that something's wrong with the Russian women AS WELL?? But same goes for many other women from any country in the world.

Our men are not able to appreciate the women, which can do all for the sake of love.
The life forces us to leave from these countries. Here there is no safety, stability.
But I want to set the same question and foreign men why they marry our women?

http://datingtalk.info/non-cgi/emoticons/cool.gif
Privyet all,

I am a tall 52 year old American man. I married a girl from Smolensk 9 years ago, and we have a 6 year old son who is precious. About the 24th of August (last month) she told me she was leaving. This was a total shock to me out of the clear blue sky. The day before, I had just bought a new Harley-Davidson that she had agreed to buy because it would be fun to get out and ride and for us to meet new people. Three weeks before, she had just begged me to trade-in her 2000 Honda Accord EX V6 on a 2001 BMW station wagon at $35,000.

I can't begin to tell how much I did for her thru the years. I 'held her hand' thru helping to get her jobs, getting her diploma evaluated, many trips and calls to immigration (because we moved several times between 3 different INS regions and her paperwork was lost twice). She finally got her citizenship about 2.5 years ago.

She got her first really good professional career type job about 2 years ago, and she is currently earning $42,000/yr as a food flavorist/chemist. I am a Unix system admin and I earn about $85,000 per year. Yes, we had some hard times career wise, but everything had finally come together. We have a $220,000 home and had just gone on a 10 day vacation to Pensacola, FL back the first of July. One key point is that the weekend of August 24th was just after our son had completed his private kindergarten school which had been running us $700/month, and he was starting public school for 1st grade.

Well, the day after I helped her move to an apartment (all the time she was promising me that she would go to counseling and try to repair the marriage), she told me she wasn't interested in going to a counselor and saving our marriage. Then, the next weekend I had our son and I had her followed by a detective and she spent the entire weekend at the apartment of a guy she works with who I had heard her talk about but I had never met him. Her company is based in Switzerland, and this guy was Swiss and was detailed her on a year long assignment. He is 2 years older than her (35) and has never been married and has traveled all over Europe (according to stuff I had heard before), and he earns about $125,000/year and drives a BMW sports car.

Now, I don't look 52. People guess my age about young to mid 40's. I'm 6'4" and 210 lbs and in very good shape. I am bald and wore a hairpiece up until 6 months ago when SHE begged me to stop wearing it and just get my hair cut short. What I'm saying is that I'm considered a pretty handsome guy when I have my 'hair' on, and without it I do probably look late 40's. But I can't help that.

Anyway, I have begged her, for our son's sake, to try to do something to save the marriage and she is not interested. She plans to get full child support and division of property even though she knows the ordeal I went thru before when my first wife did basically the same thing with my older two children (now 18 and 23), but they came to live with us at about 12 years old, and I just finished receiving child support from their mother. But I never thought I'd be going thru it again!

Her father is very angry with her, and so are two of her best friends back in Russia. Somehow, they have told me that they are not surprised. They said that back in college, they had a nickname for her and that was 'the fox' because they never knew what she was thinking. She is not some sexy babe, but is a pretty 'girl next door' type with innocent face.

Anyway, I'm going to do it again because 1. I still have dream of a good wife and family and, 2. I can't easily find what I want here - I don't like overweight, hangups, and raising 3 or 4 of someone else's children. I've always been with beautiful women and can't accept less now.

To you Russian ladies out there, do you have any advice for me? I'm looking at ladies between 30 and 40 and mostly ones who have one child and dress in more refined 'classic' style. I'm trying to stay away from the 'slinky' and 'model' looking types, but still the women I am picking out to write are very pretty. I lead an active lifestyle, but one which is also very 'home based' and 'family style'. What do you think my chances of being lucky are?

Spaceba, Steve

[Oligarch]

I'd say zilch until you stop counting you $$$$$$ and start paying more attention to your woman.[B]

[April_Beauty]

Steve,Have I just read an annual income report and a report on assets??? What was it??? Maybe a report for IRS??? Man, stop looking for a young, classy Russian girl, you are doomed to failure!!!! Your Dreams will remain just dreams unless you settle for less! Ok, you used to be with beautiful ladies and what was the result?http://datingtalk.info/non-cgi/emoticons/rock.gif They only took advantage of you! No matter what country the women came from !!! If a woman is young and beautiful and so intelligent that she can place herself well being an immigrant ( though how did I forget that you certainly helped her through when you called the immigration department twice when her paperwork was lost!!!!) does she need an old stingy bore like you??? Wake up and be reasonable!!!! Your ex-wife was as you put it " a fox", the next one will be" a snake" , the one after just a monster!!!! Get an" alligator" at once and be happy, if you can.

[Oligarch]

Steve, disregard April_Beauty's harsh comments. She must have woke-up on the wrong side of the bed. Here's the bottom line: $125,000 beats $85,000 every time. Besides, if you took me on a vacation to Pensacola, I'd divorce you too! Pensacola???

[katya]

</span>[QUOTE= (Guest @ Oct. 01 2002,05:05)]http://datingtalk.info/non-cgi/emoticons/cool.gif
Privyet all,

I am a tall 52 year old American man.

[katya]

</span>[QUOTE= (April_Beauty @ Oct. 01 2002,16:04)]Steve,Have I just read an annual income report and a report on assets??? What was it???

[April_Beauty]

My dear girl,

I guess unfortunately for you I am not interested in a relationship with another woman therefore you shouldn't bother yourself with the question of my beauty, you are just wasting your time...;-)

What an interesting discussion. I read what Katya and April_Beauty both said and have a couple of comments. First I agree with both ladies to some degree.

When I read the post about losing a woman (Russian, Ukrainain, or whatever) it was an issue of money or lust?

Maybe there was more to the situation than meets the eye?

I did object to the issue of money raised as a point of why she left him. I agree that men should not try to purchase a wife.

It's impossible to buy love!!!

Be a man is a good point. I hear from Russian and Ukrainian women that they want to be loved and don't understand when a man only talks about money.

To me, it's important that you "RESPECT" and "Trust" the woman you are with. A happy home begins with friends and continues to grow each year. It's not possible to have a good relationship without first being "friends". Everything comes in time. Don't put on blinders and look for the most beautiful woman in Russia, there are just too many, and look at the inner qualities of the woman first!!!

Be a man means so much to FSU women. It also means a lot to American or Dutch women. Love and happiness don't mean who has the most money or best car. Many poor people in the world have perfectly happy lives and love without having a BMW or mansion in the country.

I don't talk about how much money I make or how rich I am. I only talk about how I can be a man for my woman. How can I be a better person. How can I improve to be a better friend? What can I do to make our lives together more comfortable. How can I help her when she needs it the most. Am I there when she needs me? -- this doesn't include how much money I can give her!!!

I've loved and given up a wonderful Ukrainian woman simply because we had differences that couldn't be resolved. It had nothing to do with how much money I made. I let her go because I was looking for something much more than she could give me. Besides, she just wasn't ready to be with a man. I wanted her to be with a man and see what life is all about before getting into another relationship. My friend Galina is in Moscow now, but is returning home to Ukriane this week. I can't be with her, but I am her BEST FRIEND!!!

Good luck --- Poka

Jon

If she wasn't ready to be with a man maybe she should hook up with Katya instead. http://datingtalk.info/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif

[Oligarch]

Mad Max, you're just an unlicensed shrink. You negative aspersions about my adorable Katya have no merit.

Jon, you make alot of good points, the key is not money or lust, but trust. The answer to your other questions is contained in a poem by John Donne:

Go and catch a falling star,
Get with child a mandrake root,
Tell me where all past years are,
Or who cleft the devil's foot,
Teach me to hear the mermaids' singing,
Or to keep off envy's stinging,
And find
What wind
Serves to advance an honest mind.

If thou be'st born to strange sights,
Things invisible go see,
Ride ten thousand days and nights,
Till Age snow white hairs on thee
Thou, when thou return'st, wilt tell me
All strange wonders that befell thee,
And swear
No where
Lives a Russian woman true and fair.

If thou find'st one, let me know;
Such a pilgramage were sweet,
Yet do not; I would not go,
Though at next door we might meet.
Though she were true when you met her,
And last till you write your letter,
Yet she
Will be
False, ere I come, to two or three.

Ian,
After reading Olgas' post I agree with her.These women are bright,well educated(in specific disciplines much more extensively than we are),appreciate the classics and pick up our nuance rapidly.I told some employees of mine that come from Mexico that if the work was on that side of the Rio Grande I'd be swimming to the office.I find a group that exhibits an intense national pride and from what I see in the back of the photos a beautiful nation.
What these girls want is the same as you and I should.Happiness.I believe that a woman who is willing to gamble on love, and usually preferring good manners to good looks and toss it all into a suitcase going up to 6000 miles out of town is just what the doctor ordered.Put everything you have into it and roll the dice.Love for the sake of love is its own reward

I would just like to say that I have just returned to Australia form Moscow, where I married a beautiful Russian woman. I am 38 years of age and my now wife is 29. It took me 12 months of serching before I met her on the internet. Then another 12 months of writting before we finaly met and married. I say this for all the men from diferant countrys, that I know it is hard to find the woman you are looking for, but I think it is definatly worth the effort:) I have nothing but respect for for all the Russian woman out there that are trying to do the same thing. For what ever reason they are looking out side of there own country, it is not important. The same as you are looking out side of your country. Of coures I am a man form Australia, as a matter of fact I have only lived here for 13 years, I was born and lived in Wales the UK, and I know full well why you are looking in Russia for a wife. It is pureley because 1 they are definatly beautiful woman, 2 you know that they are much more loyal than most other woman that ever met in you life. 3 and most important to me is the simple fact that they are more family oriantated than a lot of other woman in the world. I feel in my heart that I ahve made the right choice, I feel we will live a happy life together. I spent 3 weeks in Moscow, and all I can say to all you men from other countrys is, follow your heart, if it feels good go for it. To you Russian ladies, I would like to say thanks for making the world a nice place to live:)
Yours Truly
Paul.

[katya]

</span>My dear girl,

I guess unfortunately for you I am not interested in a relationship with another woman therefore you shouldn't bother yourself with the question of my beauty, you are just wasting your time...;-)<span =''>
hi, dear woman.
simply if woman is beauty , she thinking about all different, then woman , who aren't beauty. I think , men will be agree with me. You are writing, that you are as beauty, as April . Interesting, is it true ?
I am only interesting, you are 26 years old of course, for America you are girl - but you are living here, and as you, as I know, that in Russia woman usually marrying before end of university. Because good girls - men need they not only in America, but in Russia too http://datingtalk.info/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif)))))))
and, about me. I am not interested in a relationship with another woman.

[katya]

</span>[QUOTE= (Guest @ Oct. 02 2002,12:34)]What an interesting discussion.

[Olenka]

</span>Why are there so many women trying to find a husband etc outside of Russia? Is it the country or the men that they don't like?<span =''>
Why? Because russian man loving vodka more than russian woman. http://datingtalk.info/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif

[Aercher]

Well I realy do not understand that the men would rather drink then snuggle but hey if they did not then we would not be able to meet them so why complain http://datingtalk.info/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

[imported_admin]

</span></span>[QUOTE= (Ian @ Sep. 29 2002,14:51)]Why are there so many women trying to find a husband etc outside of Russia? Is it the country or the men that they don't like?<span =''>
Why? Because russian man loving vodka more than russian woman.

[katya]

</span></span>[QUOTE= (Olenka @ Oct. 06 2002,20:17)]</span>[QUOTE= (Ian @ Sep. 29 2002,14:51)]Why are there so many women trying to find a husband etc outside of Russia? Is it the country or the men that they don't like?<span =''>
Why? Because russian man loving vodka more than russian woman.

[Gerald]

One of the main reason has already been explained: many men lost during numerous wars. The second is that half russian men are alcoholics. The third is that although most russian women are sweet persons, men tend to be brutal and coarse with women. Of course there are many exceptions, but this is the general trend as far I know from speaking with many russian women of various ages.
Now western men must beware, especally the older ones: there is always a big risk in marrying a much younger woman. Many russian women will of their own accord rather marry a man 10 or even 15 years older, especially if they are in their early twenties, but if you go in for a 20 to 30 years difference you are asking for trouble sometimes along the way. Unless you are very, very rich (and in this case this applies to all women whatever their nationality).

[imported_admin]

</span>The second is that half russian men are alcoholics. The third is that although most russian women are sweet persons, men tend to be brutal and coarse with women.<span =''>
... And all American men riding on the horse, smoke cigars and search for gold. I saw it in many American films. http://datingtalk.info/non-cgi/emoticons/laugh.gif
Russian men absolutely normal, same as men in other countries.

[Vicky]

</span>One of the main reason has already been explained: many men lost during numerous wars. The second is that half russian men are alcoholics. The third is that although most russian women are sweet persons, men tend to be brutal and coarse with women. Of course there are many exceptions, but this is the general trend as far I know from speaking with many russian women of various ages.
Now western men must beware, especally the older ones: there is always a big risk in marrying a much younger woman. Many russian women will of their own accord rather marry a man 10 or even 15 years older, especially if they are in their early twenties, but if you go in for a 20 to 30 years difference you are asking for trouble sometimes along the way. Unless you are very, very rich (and in this case this applies to all women whatever their nationality).<span =''>
Yes, yes, that's a nice point of view http://datingtalk.info/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif
Out of a, say, hundred men I know (relatives, colleagues, friends) none is alcoholic. Am I just lucky, you think? Sure, Russian men drink vodka, as well as foreigners drink whiskey or brandy or wine, but having a drink during the meal doesn't make them alcoholics, right?
Let me make a comment here that doesn't at all refer to either the forum, nor the topic. You might call that national shauvinism, but when it concerns my country or people that live in this country I will always feel strange when I see people who don't live in this country expressing negative attitude to it. As a citizen of this country I have the right to love it or hate it and express this or that opinion, but I will hardly allow a foreigner to speculate on how bad everything is here. We're having a saying here "he looks for a grit in other's eye, not noticing a log in his own".

As for marrying someone older, well, it depends sometimes on psychology, like some girls would rather look for someone who reminds them of their father. When you marry a girl younger than you, all you should think of is not how much money you have, whether you can afford it or not, but about what you will feel when there's a woman say of 40, and you're 60, as the feelings and expectations of hers, both psychological and physiological would be on the rise, whereas you will have to do your best to satisfy those needs.

[angelin]

</span>One of the main reason has already been explained: many men lost during numerous wars. The second is that half russian men are alcoholics. The third is that although most russian women are sweet persons, men tend to be brutal and coarse with women. Of course there are many exceptions, but this is the general trend as far I know from speaking with many russian women of various ages.
Now western men must beware, especally the older ones: there is always a big risk in marrying a much younger woman. Many russian women will of their own accord rather marry a man 10 or even 15 years older, especially if they are in their early twenties, but if you go in for a 20 to 30 years difference you are asking for trouble sometimes along the way. Unless you are very, very rich (and in this case this applies to all women whatever their nationality).<span =''>
Hi!
I want to tell you , that in Russia isn

[katya]

</span>One of the main reason has already been explained: many men lost during numerous wars. The second is that half russian men are alcoholics. The third is that although most russian women are sweet persons, men tend to be brutal and coarse with women. Of course there are many exceptions, but this is the general trend as far I know from speaking with many russian women of various ages.
Now western men must beware, especally the older ones: there is always a big risk in marrying a much younger woman. Many russian women will of their own accord rather marry a man 10 or even 15 years older, especially if they are in their early twenties, but if you go in for a 20 to 30 years difference you are asking for trouble sometimes along the way. Unless you are very, very rich (and in this case this applies to all women whatever their nationality).<span =''>
sorry me.. but next time, when you will write anything about Russia , write before it * I think , in Russia...*
you wasn't see anything and cannot tell so.

I want to find a husband not from Russia, because, I think, that russian man not so good for family life. A lot of them very lazy and they do not want to ensure worthy existence for them family and for them children. And, besides, they like only themselves. I hope, that men, who live in another countryes not, as russian man... so, I will find a good husband for me (not from in Russia) http://datingtalk.info/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

[Jon]

</span>I want to find a husband not from Russia, because, I think, that russian man not so good for family life. A lot of them very lazy and they do not want to ensure worthy existence for them family and for them children. And, besides, they like only themselves. I hope, that men, who live in another countryes not, as russian man... so, I will find a good husband for me (not from in Russia) http://datingtalk.info/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif<span =''>
Valeria,

This may be true about Russian men, but I think you will also find these men in America or Japan? I don't believe all Russian men are lazy and always drunk.

Why do you believe this is true? Maybe you need to find a decent Russian man...they are out there!

Jon

[Vicky]

That's a personal decision of Valeria, I guess.

When I hear or read those messages about alcoholics I always remember an extract from a book that is written by a Russian psycho, a person who is said to possess certain extrasensorical abilities. He was telling a story of some woman who came up to him and complained that wherever she goes or whatever man she chooses for herself, she's always surrounded by alcoholics, even if they at first seemed quite alright. Know what he answered her? He told her it's her karma. What if Valeria has the same karma? Then it doesn't matter what origin her husband is http://datingtalk.info/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif

[Tom]

</span>When I hear or read those messages about alcoholics I always remember an extract from a book that is written by a Russian psycho, a person who is said to possess certain extrasensorical abilities. He was telling a story of some woman who came up to him and complained that wherever she goes or whatever man she chooses for herself, she's always surrounded by alcoholics, even if they at first seemed quite alright. Know what he answered her? He told her it's her karma. What if Valeria has the same karma? Then it doesn't matter what origin her husband is http://datingtalk.info/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif<span =''>
Maybe it's as simple as; she drives all her men to drink? (just joking Valeria http://datingtalk.info/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif )

[katya]

</span><span =''>
Interesting, where you looking for friend for yourself ? If in pab , of course, your friends will drink http://datingtalk.info/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif
if be marry on foreign man only becouse all Russian men * drink * - I don't know... I'll prefer monastery http://datingtalk.info/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif

</span>Why are there so many women trying to find a husband etc outside of Russia? Is it the country or the men that they don't like?<span =''>
Why are there so many men trying to find a wife in Russia and other CIS countries? What's the problem with women in their own countries? http://datingtalk.info/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif

</span>Why are there so many women trying to find a husband etc outside of Russia? Is it the country or the men that they don't like?<span =''>
And i'd like to tell one more thing. We are all people sharing the same planet, the Earth, and no matter in what country we live, we can never know where we shall meet our soul mate.
There is an old legend, that says: in old days people had both men's and women's qualities. But one day they put God into a rage and he punished them by splitting into two parts - men and women and diffused them all over the Earth. Since then men and women are looking for their halfs.
So, I prefer to look at marriage and people's choice from this point of view ,-)

I think, russian women don't like russian men because a lot of russian man are cannot to care of girls. Russian man are not so gentle, careful, the cannot to estimate beauty of the woman. + they are very lazy also can not provide the family.

No, certainly, and among Russian men too is good nice guys and men, but it's SO SELDOM!!!

[katya]

</span>[QUOTE= (Guest @ Dec. 01 2002,01:18)]I think, russian women don't like russian men because a lot of russian man are cannot to care of girls.

[Smolensk]

From Steve: I just got back from Kiev 2 days ago and happened to come across the link to this message I posted. Now I have read the replies for first time.

Before I tell what I think about the replies, let me first say that I have spent the last 2.5 weeks with one of the nicest and sweetest girls I have ever met in my life. She is 32 and has a 10 year old son. She is from Dnepropetrovsk. She is a very wise lady and was raised very well. I have met her parents, her brothers, her aunts, and even her grandmother. Everyone liked me very very much, and I fell in love with not only her, but all her family. They were some of the nicest people I have ever met, and much different from my former wife's family. I've explained to her in detail (and face to face) about my marriage to girl from Smolensk. Her opinion was quite different from everyone on this board, and she said it was obvious to her that the person I was married to didn't love me and never did.

So, to all of you egotistic 'ladies' (a stretch) and gentlemen out there who were so quick to condemn me, how about just kissing my a--! Most of you sound nuts anyway. The time I just spent with a REAL and NORMAL woman was a great confidence builder after all this pounding all of you so enjoyed giving me. You all sound like a sadistic bunch of smartasses to me. So, enjoy doing your posting because I'll be having better things to do with my time than waste it reading the crap some of you write. Sure wish I could post a photo here so you all could eat your heart out.

[Vicky]

Everyone should start searching for messages from Steve right away, being curious about what advice he was given that made him so ridiculous regarding talking to forum visitors.

Steve, you're happy, fine. "Egoists" are also those who, in their happiness, forget that the world still goes around and there are still problems that people come here to discuss. If you consider them to be nuts, you think that's somebody else's problem except yours?
What seems strange to me is that if you're so happy today why there's such a negative attitude towards other people. Happy people tend to love the world.

[angelin]

</span><span =''>
Hello!
I see , you unrewarding man . All people was think about you , worry about you , was try to help - or you was forgot , what was you think about your missy ?
And you are come back, and now all are very-very bad , only you are good , and right .
To know man, you must to eat pood (16 kg ) of salt with him. And to know woman it isn

[Jon]

</span>Everyone should start searching for messages from Steve right away, being curious about what advice he was given that made him so ridiculous regarding talking to forum visitors.

Steve, you're happy, fine. "Egoists" are also those who, in their happiness, forget that the world still goes around and there are still problems that people come here to discuss. If you consider them to be nuts, you think that's somebody else's problem except yours?
What seems strange to me is that if you're so happy today why there's such a negative attitude towards other people. Happy people tend to love the world.<span =''>
Vicky,

Never heard of the guy...he must have posted on a different site and is confused after his trip?

Jon

[liam]

Steve,

you said something about 'needing confidence building after the pounding you recieved on the forum', hey man, you sound like like the sort of guy who still needs to hold his mum's hand when he crosses the road, to get all bitter about what a couple of people you've never met in your life say, really is a bit tragic. When you curled up in bed with the girl in Dnepropetrovsk did you whispher "i love you mummy" in her ear?
Ever heard the saying "be a man"?

liam

[Vicky]

</span>Never heard of the guy...he must have posted on a different site and is confused after his trip?

Jon<span =''>
I spent some tme but finally found the message from Steve. It's earlier in this same topic, on the first page.

And Jon, you did respond to it, though not directly http://datingtalk.info/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif