I need some advices ...

[Pierre]

Hi all,

First of all, I would like to thank the main contributors on this forum (Katia, Viki, Jon and others) for their sense of humour, but also seriouness, experiences and advices. And I need you help !

Here is my story: I'm french, 36 years old, and started internet dating end of 2001.

Episode 1:

In 2002, I corresponded with a woman from Tomsk for 6 months and finally decided to invite her in France. I paid for the correspondence cost, passport, visa and plane tickets. I went to Paris, waited for her at the airport but she never came ... I just had been scammed by a fraudulous dating club (she have propably never existed ...). OK, Ok, I have been very naïve !

Episode 2:

I'm corresponding with a lady from Naberezhnye Chelny for 2 months now, and we call each other every 2 or 3 days. Each time we spend 1 to 2 hours on the phone, discussing about all and nothing, general or personnal subjects. She is just wonderful and we understand each other so well. We have decided to meet in January in Moscow during one week. At the beginning, I understood that she wanted to pay her plane ticket herself (about 200 USD) that I would reimburse to her of course, but this evening, at the end of our phone talk she asked me if I could send the money via western union to her.

I'm sad, very sad and feel uncomfortable... I do want to meet her in Moscow, of course, but I don't want to fly to Moscow and find myself alone with my dreams and hopes at the airport. I think sincerely that I wouldn't endure a new disappointment...

What would you recommend to me in such situation ?

Thanks in advance,

Pierre.

[Jon]

Pierre,

I understand your relunctance to send her money for the ticket. It is difficult to belive that women can deceive and hurt us, but the first time it wasn't really a human that you had corresponded with...am I correct?

Since you've actually spoken to this women there are a couple of things you can do to make the situation more comfortable to each of you. Try to offer and pay for the ticket and have it waiting for her at the airport. It is now possible with e-tickets to purchase the ticket and she can pick it up using her passport.

Now why do you feel uneasy with this situation? Do you have any reason to doubt that she will show up? Trust...do you have this in the relationship?

Another possible way to avoid this uneasy feeling is to get her home address and then send something to her. If she is real then it won't be difficult to obtain her home address. Send flowers or have a note (card) delivered. This is another way to find out if she is real or not.

If you have any other concerns or questions please feel free to contact me.

Jon

[Vicky]

Reasonable advice, especially that with a ticket that she can get at the airport.
As for the second - I don't think this will work in the sense of checking if she's real or not. She might work (just a possibility, Pierre, don't be scared) in a scam agency and give that agency address and for sure a gift or flowers will reach her, and you'll be informed that yes, the girl is real. This way you'll never check if she gave you her home address. By the way how do you know that she's home when you're talking over the phone?

Best,
Vicky

[Jon]

</span>Reasonable advice, especially that with a ticket that she can get at the airport.
As for the second - I don't think this will work in the sense of checking if she's real or not. She might work (just a possibility, Pierre, don't be scared) in a scam agency and give that agency address and for sure a gift or flowers will reach her, and you'll be informed that yes, the girl is real. This way you'll never check if she gave you her home address. By the way how do you know that she's home when you're talking over the phone?

Best,
Vicky<span =''>
Vicky,

Now you're going to make the guy paranoid. When you send flowers the man delivering them can arrange to take her picture also. That way he has a picture of her and the flowers at the same time. This should prove that she is real or not.

Jon

[Vicky]

Jon,

I'm just trying to think over the situation http://datingtalk.info/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif A picture - fine, but who gives 100% the place she is in with those flowers is her real home? http://datingtalk.info/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif

[Pierre]

Thanks Vicky and Jon.

In fact, I sent her a parcel 3 weeks ago, and it seems that she just received it because she got a paper on saturday inviting her to get the parcel at the post office. So she should call me back today.

But during "Episode 1", I also sent a parcel that she (or he or they) received, even if the address was not correct...

Here, I'm almost 100 % sure that she is real.
In fact, what surprised me is that she spoke about money and western union easily. I have read that usualy a sincere woman is too proud to ask money. She told me that she has no bank account, her parents too (she lives with her parents and her sister). One time, I told her that I could ask my tourist agency (in Paris, but also with an office in Moscow) to send her the ticket. She answered me that, usually, to buy a ticket in Russia, you go to the nearest travel agency, and that this is the only means to get a ticket.
Restropectively that discussion make me suspicious ...

This is a shame, because, I don't want to ruin our relationship if she is real and sincere.

E-ticket seems a good idea. Does it work also with Aeroflot and internal flight from Naberezhnye Chelny to Moscow ?

Thanks again for you help.

Pierre.

[Vicky]

Pierre,

I made a minute search for Aeroflot flights from Naberezhnye Chelny to Moscow, but results are not satisfactory. I will do another search later. So far - Aeroflot does not have any flights to and from Naberezhnye Chelny, though this seems a bit strange to me. I guess you can check it yourself thru i-net, what airlines do those flights and if e-ticket is possible.

Best,
Vicky

[Pierre]

Vicky,

I said "Aeroflot", but I have no idea about what airlines fly to and from Naberezhnye Chelny.

If airlines between Naberezhnye Chelny and Moscow are only regional airlines, I understand that it could be only possible to buy a ticket Naberezhnye Chelny , and that E-ticket are not available.

Do you have any particular website (in english) that could help me ? I tried several international website without success.

Thanks a lot.

Have a nice day,

Pierre.

[Vicky]

Pierre,

looks like I don't have any idea of what airlines fly to Naberezhnye chelny either. I checked several sites but there are no flights from there to Moscow. That's not a definite "no", it just takes time. If you wish, I can make a more detailed search but a bit later. Other way to ease the search is to ask your lady what airlines make these flights, ask her to check that for you, and then we'll see if an e-ticket can be obtained. Otherwise, we'll just spend abit more time trying to do that ourselves.

One thing though - don't let her suspect anything that looks like you don't trust her. I hope she's nice and real.

Vicky

[Pierre]

Vicky,

A big thank you for your help!

But I don't want to impose more on your kindness. I will ask her all the details about her flight.

In fact I'm ready to take some risks because if she is sincere (what I deeply hope in my heart) she really deserves it.

All the best,

Pierre.

[Vicky]

Good luck, Pierre http://datingtalk.info/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif

If there's anything else you'd like to know or any other help needed, feel free to ask.

Wish you all the best,
Vicky